The following is not about manipulation. No, it is about thriving in a workplace environment, always being your own best advocate, and leveraging every opportunity to do so. The following is a mash up of advice from @iqra on X and Robert B. Cialdini from his book Influence: Science and Practice. As Rabbi Hillel observed in part: ”If I am not for myself, who will be for me?”
Three Scenarios
Scenario 1: You spend six intense hours debugging a key system for a major client. The pressure to deliver is high. You deliver, and the client is grateful. Your boss says, “Thanks for getting this done.” You say:
Option 1: “No problem.”
Option 2: “I know how critical this system is for (client name). I’m glad I could get it stabilized for the client.”
Scenario 2: You cover a high-stakes presentation for a colleague who is unexpectedly out sick. “Thanks so much,” says the colleague. “You really saved me on his one!” You say:
Option 1: “No problem, anytime!”
Option 2: “I appreciate you saying that. I know you would do the same for me.”
Scenario 3: A junior team member thanks you profusely for sitting down with them for an hour to help them format a high-stakes response to a request for proposal. You say:
Option 1: “No problem, don’t worry about it.”
Option 2: “I’m always happy to help. You asked some really penetrating, strategic questions today.”
Bottom Line
As you have sensed, the answer to each is the second option. Why? All organizations are a web of interlocking relationships. The second option establishes your expertise, creates a sense of mutual obligations, and elevates your status. By contrast, the first option makes you sound fungible, diminishes your contributions, and communicates that you are replaceable. I know that you might think the first option makes you sound like a team player, but here is the truth: Organizations do not value team players. Instead, your mission is to A.B.P. (Always Be Promoting (Yourself)).
Michael P. Maslanka is a professor at the UNT-Dallas College of Law. You can reach him at michael.maslanka@untdallas.edu.